Why Heal Trauma?

Written by Jennifer Aldoretta, founder of Groove

As discussed in the article What is Trauma?, stress is a cycle just like everything else in nature. Trauma is created when we enter into a stress cycle, but (for one reason or another) the cycle is unable to fully complete. We get stuck in a stress cycle, and that energy spins inside of us as — you guessed it — TRAUMA.

This energy naturally wants to move and discharge, and so this stuck energy periodically surfaces…as triggers, behaviors we aren’t proud of, attracting partners who aren’t good for us over and over, or our Shadow self (or characteristics we don’t really like about ourselves). But because of our lifelong conditioning and programming — Don’t be so emotional! Why are you so sensitive? Be a big girl and stop crying! — we RESIST releasing the energy.

What we don’t realize is that by RESISTING this energy, we are keeping it alive within us.

And so this stress and trauma energy manifests as something else. Maybe as painful and unhelpful emotions like rage, anger, or shame. Maybe we become so triggered that we simply shut down and shut people out. Our fight-or-flight response gets triggered over and over, or maybe our body got stuck in it altogether.

Maybe it manifests as physical issues like muscle pain, tension, headaches, menstrual pain, back pain, gut issues, or autoimmune disorders. Maybe as psychological issues like anxiety, depression, self-loathing, or codependency. Or maybe as destructive behaviors like addiction, eating disorders, or control issues.  

All because this stuck energy wants to move. All because the stress cycle wants to complete, but it can’t.

Trauma gets us stuck in a stress response (or fight-or-flight) state, which affects our mind and body in profound ways. And when we’re stuck in a stress response, we don’t think straight, our body performs poorly, and we suffer as a result.

Trauma is the expression of a painful past experience within the present moment.

I personally know the pain and utter exhaustion that comes with resisting the completion of this stress cycle. Sometimes in life, we’re not yet in a place or in circumstances where it is safe for us to let it go. I’ve been there. I’ve lived in those coping mechanisms, and it’s extremely difficult and draining.

It’s important for me to say that there should NEVER be shame if you are stuck in a stress cycle that has not yet completed. You did this out of a need to survive. The ways that the stuck stress and trauma energies manifested may not have been “healthy”, but they were tools that you learned or created in order to survive, and that is something to be so thankful for. Your emotions or behaviors or physical ailments resulting from stuck trauma energy allowed you to survive the trauma. It kept you living. And that is an amazing gift.

Now, perhaps those old emotions and behaviors and physical ailments are no longer serving you. Perhaps you’ve entered a place in your life where it is finally safe to discharge that stuck energy.

All of the tools I utilize — like trauma informed yoga, breath work, somatic experiencing, shadow work, journaling, trauma release exercises, and reiki (among many others) — are tools that help you to release these stuck energies. 

Trauma unintentionally gets passed from generation to generation

Even if you aren’t planning to have children, this is still important. The children in our lives learn from watching, moreso than listening to what we tell them. Kids mirror what we do in order to learn how to survive in the world.

When we don’t work to release our trauma energy, we become triggered, we do things we’re ashamed of, we act in ways that are out of integrity. Each time we do this in front of a child, they are learning, quietly.

Let’s say that, as a child, Rebecca became afraid to openly express emotions like sadness or fear because her emotionally abusive mother punished, criticized, and made fun of this authentic emotional expression. So, as a child, she eventually realized that when she felt sad or afraid, becoming angry felt better — it made her feel more powerful and a little less afraid.

But now, as an adult, when Rebecca feels sad or afraid, she becomes extremely angry and often yells in front of her children. Afterwards, she feels extreme guilt and shame because she knows that’s not really who she is. And her children, unintentionally, are learning from her actions.

But if you were never taught how to cope with trauma in a healthy way, how are you supposed to behave “better” when you don’t know what “better” actually looks like? The adults in Rebecca’s life were just acting out whatever behavior THEY learned as kids in order to cope with a painful situation in their lives. And so on and so on.

It’s difficult to face, but unresolved trauma unintentionally gets passed from generation to generation — this is known as inter-generational trauma.

There are lots of reasons to heal trauma…this is just one of many. Not only will you be giving the children in your life a huge gift by healing, but you will finally learn to truly love and accept yourself. Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

You’ll know you’re starting to discharge stuck energy when your body starts to feel lighter.

When you begin doing trauma healing work and your stuck trauma energy starts to discharge, you may feel like a huge weight has lifted.

You may suddenly notice that your chest doesn’t feel tight anymore. You, like me, may need to experience bouts of a physical shaking response like we saw on display here, through something called trauma release exercises (TRE). You may release the energy through intense tears or through controlled rage. Or you may experience all of it...and then some.

Discharging trauma energy doesn’t always look the same. But it’s very possible. And the freedom and serenity that lies on the other side is worth it.

In my own personal journey, my anxiety and depression lifted. My IBS and gut issues regulated. My severe menstrual pain dissipated. My sense of shame and unworthiness turned into self-love. My disordered eating disappeared. My chronic TMJ went away. My chronic chest tightness lifted. In essence, my entire life has changed.

Make no mistake...this work is difficult. It takes time. We must be gentle with the body, as it will only release what it is ready to release. There is no quick fix. There is no singular path. There is no magic cure. It takes commitment, openness, surrender, and willingness to do what is needed.

Underneath your trauma exists a whole, integrated being.

I believe that we’re all born fully loving and accepting ourselves. It just gets masked, buried, obscured by conditioning, patterns, and life circumstances. You must work to let go of that stuck energy and unlearn patterns and conditioning in order to find your way back there.

Wholeness is already within you. You are already whole. Sometimes you just need a little bit of support to find your way back there.