5 Symptoms of Childhood Trauma in Adults
It’s been estimated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that more than 60% of U.S. adults have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE) as children, and almost 25% have experienced 3 or more [1].
It’s been shown that high ACE scores are linked with 8 of the 10 leading causes of death, shortening a person’s lifespan by nearly 19 years [1].
Childhood trauma is widespread, and in my decade (+) of work with women suffering from debilitating period problems, I’ve found that unprocessed childhood trauma is usually a major contributing factor. It might seem hard to believe, but many women heal their periods when they work to heal from their childhood trauma.
Here are 5 signs that you’re one of many, many adults suffering from unprocessed childhood trauma
You struggle with low self-confidence
You often feel out-of-control of your emotional state
You struggle to identify the emotions and feelings you’re experiencing
You find it difficult to express vulnerability
You suffer with physical symptoms or dis-ease
We’re especially susceptible to trauma as children. Not only because we’re small and physically unable to defend ourselves, but also because we have not yet developed the skills needed to process and move through the experience. Or, perhaps, we grew up in an environment where authentic emotional expression was frowned upon (or even punished).
Regardless of the reason, so many of us were simply never modeled the skills to cope with pain and difficulty.
1. You struggle with low self-confidence
I personally struggled with low self-confidence and low self-esteem for most of my life. In fact, I would honestly say that for a very long time, I actually hated myself.
I was constantly apologizing to others, I was meek and soft-spoken, I put other people before myself, I had horrible boundaries, and I was trapped in guilt and shame. It was a stressful, overwhelming way to live.
For you, this might manifest as any of the following:
difficulty sticking up for yourself
struggling to say “no” to others
poor boundaries (not knowing where your limits are or not consistently enforcing them with people who cross them)
dislike or hatred of your body or weight
consistently putting the needs of others before your own
no self-care practices, or difficulty making time to care for your own needs
negative self-talk or a harsh “inner critic”
2. You often feel out-of-control of your emotional state
Emotional difficulties is one of the hallmarks of unprocessed childhood trauma. It typically shows up as an inability to control your emotional states or to self-soothe once an unpleasant shift does arise.
This can manifest in a multitude of ways:
depression
anxiety
manic depression
moods changing on a dime
agitation
compulsive tendencies
anger, rage
worry, fear
a need to feel in control
inability to self-soothe, or quickly pull yourself out of negative emotional states
Many of the things on the above list have shown up in my own fight with my childhood trauma. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, rage, worry, fear, compulsive cleaning, perfectionism, trying to control or change the behaviors of others (often through criticism or harsh sarcasm), inability to calm down once I was upset, and “stewing” in my negative emotions for hours, days, and sometimes even weeks.
Learn how to heal your childhood trauma
We offer free resources, with proven techniques, to help you heal from childhood trauma.
3. You struggle to identify the emotions and feelings you’re experiencing
Childhood trauma often disconnects us from our bodies. In order to survive difficult and painful life experiences, we dissociated, or “disconnected” from the experience — in order to protect ourselves from feeling the magnitude of our painful emotions. This is a natural response to trauma.
What isn’t natural is for this to occur chronically or to continue into adulthood. If the energy of the traumatic experience is not allowed to move through and out of us, it gets stuck. Spinning and spinning inside of us, and rearing its ugly head over and over…and over.
When we build up this type of protective mechanism, this “disconnection” from ourselves continues into adulthood. Adults who have experienced childhood trauma often struggle with things like:
dissociation
depersonalization
derealization
inability to assign a name to what they’re feeling
inability to identify where in their body they’re feeling a difficult emotion
being out-of-tune with hunger, sleep, or digestive signals
I’ve struggled with each and every one of these things. When I first started working through my childhood trauma many years ago, I remember my therapist asking me what emotion I was feeling, and I honestly had no idea. I didn’t know what I was feeling or where I was feeling it. In retrospect, I was feeling anger, grief, sadness, fear, and many other emotions. But I was totally out-of-touch with my body.
If this resonates with your personal experience, I want to emphasize that this is nothing to feel ashamed of…it is a natural response to painful experiences.
Believe it or not, disconnection is a skill that you developed as a child in order to help you to SURVIVE awful circumstances, and this skill has kept you alive until today. Sure, maybe it is no longer serving a purpose in your life and it’s time to learn another, different, healthier skill. But this disconnection has been a powerful coping mechanism, and it served a very important purpose.
Guided Trauma Healing Courses
Interested in exploring trauma healing in a safe, gentle, and structured way? We offer a variety of online courses to help you find peace with your most painful life experiences.
4. You find it difficult to express vulnerability
This, for me, was one of the most difficult of all the symptoms of childhood trauma. It took a lot of courage to overcome this, and it’s something I still have to be very mindful and conscious of.
If we learned that it wasn’t safe to feel our difficult feelings as a child, then naturally we bottled them up and shoved them wayyyyy deep down inside of ourselves. Now, as adults, we silence our voice out of fear for what could happen if we didn’t. We avoid “stirring the pot” to prevent confrontation or conflict. I know that I sure did.
It took me a long time to realize that vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s actually one of the bravest, most courageous acts we can undertake as human beings. That’s why the thought of being honest — really and truly honest — might scare the living sh*t out of you.
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.
― Brené Brown
For most of my life, I was terrified of being honest because I was deathly afraid of being rejected, made fun of, and (worst of all) abandoned. I was afraid that being authentic and allowing other people to see me for the flawed, messy human being that I actually am would make them want to leave me.
What I later realized is that vulnerability is one of the greatest acts of self-love we can possibly participate in. But getting there takes practice. Because invulnerability, just like disconnecting from your emotions, feelings, and your body, is a natural response to a painful, unprocessed childhood trauma.
5. You suffer with physical symptoms or dis-ease
Physical symptoms of childhood trauma come in many forms and can affect any and every body system. Here are the ones I see most often, in no particular order:
Digestive issues (diarrhea, constipation, IBS)
Chronic muscle pain or tension (hips, low back, neck, shoulders)
Temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ)
Autoimmune disorders (rheumatoid arthritis, hashimoto's thyroiditis, celiac disease, type 1 diabetes, psoriasis, inflammatory bowel disease, and many others)
Frequent infections (cold, sinus, throat, ear, vaginal, urinary tract, etc.)
Sleep disturbance (nightmares, sleepwalking, sleep paralysis, night terrors, insomnia)
Frequent headaches or migraines
Allergies (food, seasonal, chemical, etc.)
While trauma is extraordinarily difficult to live with, it is very possible to move beyond it and find peace with your most difficult life experiences.
